When Camo Met Diamonds and Added a Pearl and Crossbow

Friday, June 5, 2015

My reaction to baby bumps these days is usually pretty no eventful. I don't run from them or despise them. But lately I have been feeling sad just wondering what I would look like with one. What would it feel like? Would I just be fat all over?

How grateful I am that I don't run from them anymore!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Full Circle at Dr. Vineyard's Office

I had an appointment at Dr. Vineyard's today for a sinus infection. I took Lillian with me and we sat in room 5 and waited. It was nap time and she was having fun not sleeping. After I got my diagnosis confirmed, and was waiting for my scripts, I sang to her and she finally drifted to sleep.

All of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks and the tears began to flow as I saw Lillian's life come full circle right before my eyes. It was in this very chair, roughly a year and five months ago, I sat and saw my precious baby for the first time: her beautiful head formed in her birthmom's womb, her arms and legs moving about. Man, how much transpired from that moment of first seeing her on the ultrasound, until the moment I held her for the first time, to this moment holding her in the very room where it all began.

Even if it had not turned out the way it did. God is Good. God is Faithful. And His Creations are Beautiful!

Monday, April 20, 2015

Beauty in the Every Day

Lillian is just shy of 15 months and I could just pinch myself she is so awesome. I find myself on a daily basis just stepping back and seeing the awesomeness that she is and thinking, "Is this really my life? How did we get here? Where did she come from?" The answers are yes, one day at a time, and God.

She is truly joy in the flesh. Don't get me wrong she has her moments and right now "me" is her favorite word (said in a whining tone and used more like mine and give me) but for most of the minutes of the day she is a joyful, happy little girl! She does something new every day from twirling, to dancing with happy feet, saying new words (she is a talker!) and singing. She's been able to sing EIEIO for a while, but just a day ago I caught her singing in perfect pitch and almost perfect timing the word back in Bring Back My Bonnie To Me. It. Melted. My. Heart.

She gets so excited when her daddy comes home and I can't tell you how blessed I am to watch my husband flourish in his role as parent to a little girl. His love for his girls is evident daily and he is so tender to us both. He helps me to flourish as a momma and is your stereotypical pushover with his baby girl.

I know these days are going to pass quickly, just as the past year did. God help me to see the beauty in the every day. Help me to not continually look to the next milestone but enjoy the now. For I know one day it won't be so rosy and the bumps and trials will come. You will be faithful as ever, but for now I am praising you for this moment, this stage, this grace.

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Happy Resurrection Day!

The dress wasn't exactly what I wanted her to wear and for the first time in 30 years I didn't get a new dress for myself, but none of that matters. She looked beautiful in her cousin Chloe's dress made by their Gamma and I got to wear the dress I wore for her adoption. I praise God for the fact that I can even say I have a dress worn at the adoption of a child, MY child.

What matters most today is Christ's Resurrection, not our clothes or the items places in a basket or the eggs hunted.

In the past 13 months, Lillian has given us a tangible glimpse into what it means to be adopted by Christ. She is not my flesh and blood, but she is MINE! I would move heaven and earth for her if I could. I would sacrifice my life for hers. The love I have for her is indescribable and yet it pales in comparison to the love the Father has for us. I am grateful to have this "special" first hand prospective. And truly it is because He Lives that I can face tomorrow!

"God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Christ Jesus. This is what he wanted to do and it gave him great pleasure."

Ephesians 1:5 (NLT)