Hope in the Night

This is the first of several sappy posts that will be coming over the next two months; I can't help but to remember and relive what happened last year.  Just a fair warning!

This time last year we were in the middle of a crazy emotional roller coaster.  We had been contacted by Lillian's birth parents, seen her beautifully formed body during an ultrasound, met with the lawyer and signed our paperwork only to find out her birth parents did not sign theirs.  They assured us they had not changed their minds but wanted to show our profile to their family over the weekend and would meet back up with us on Monday.  One of the anthems we were preparing at the time in choir had this amazing line..."From our sorrow springs new joy; out of sin, grace lifts its voice. In our weakness comes strength to fight; there is hope in the night."  Great sorrow was to come when we would not get the follow up meeting with Lillian's birth parents.  We felt so raw and our hearts ached with a pain we had experienced only once before with the loss of our first baby through miscarriage.  We did not understand what God was doing and honestly to this day I don't understand the reason for the way it all happened, BUT we had to trust God was in control.  And truly when I look back at it all... from our sorrow new joy did spring, out of sin grace did lift it's voice, in our complete weakness HE gave us strength to fight and so there was hope in the night.

I Want MY Momma!

TMI Alert!!!!

This picture pretty much sums up how I feel about our first virus. Yesterday started with my wanting to throw up upon walking into Lillian's room at 11:00 am. I though she had just slept really well but the smell of sewage begged to differ. Diahhrea EVERWHERE and a baby so sick she couldn't move.  Then for the rest of the day every three hours on the hour a diaper explosion. And it all culminated with our first experience of projectile vomit. Lillian waited for her dad to get home for that one. I stood shocked not knowing what to do except say, "I want MY momma."  Bless Stephen, itt was all over him, the floor, Lillian. he didn't lose his stomach. I took Lillian to the tub and he took care if the rest. 

Stephen and I also had a bit of the bubble guts but thankfully none of the other!

We are all exhausted today and she's MUCH better but we are still skiddish to have much food and downing the pedialite.  

Two Thoughts to Ponder

If we had not moved to Nacogdoches in 1999, I would have never met Stephen. 

If Stephen and I had not moved to Nacogdoches in 2012, we would not have Lillian. 

It's Such A Mess I Could Cry!

It's such a mess I could cry, but not because of the mess; because we've waited and waited for so long to have this mess. 

Truly as I spent the past fifteen minutes picking up what tornado Lillian had destroyed, I stepped back to look at it all; tears welled up in my eyes. I really didn't think it was going to ever happen and especially not in 2014.  My heart is full. I know it would be full, by the grace of God, even if my living room did not look like this, but tonight I needed to just sit and see.  For this moment at this time my messy living room IS God's grace for this year. 

Praying His grace is tangible for you, especially if you are currently in the darkness. 

Writing the Word

So I just might be setting out to do the impossible and it might take me more than a year, but my plan for 2015 is to handwrite the entire New Testament. (I'm posting this for accountability so please ask me how it's going a few weeks and months down the road).

I started tonight and let me tell you, when you write the word rather than just read it you notice more (or at least I did tonight). Matthew 1 with it's genealogy we all like to skip or skim lover and the short telling of the Messiah's birth was interesting tonight. I tried to remember each story that I could associated with the Old Testament names. I knew about half. So tomorrow I will set out to learn what I can about the other half. 

In the name of Jesus Christ my Savior, I pray and command Satan to stay out of my way for this project. I pray God will use the project to hide the word in my heart and it will come alive to me in ways I have never experience before, help me to be a better follower of Christ,  better wife, a better mother and a better friend!

TBT: May the Joy of Christmas Sweep You Off Your Feet

A little Throw Back Thursday for ya!

As I look at this picture I think about what this couple had lying ahead of them. They had no clue what was to come. The dead of night was moving in and the joy of the morning would not come for another four years.  If this is where you find yourself today have hope, morning WILL come. It may not be this side of heaven nor in the way you think but His mercies ARE new every morning. 

But if you just can't see through the darkness, lean into the Savior my friend.  You can bring ANYTHING to Him. Lord knows I have had my share of shouting and crying to Him and at him. He is strong and steady and will not let you go.  He's walked through the wilderness too. 

May God bless you all this Christmas Day in ways you never expected! 

Eleven Months

Merry Christmas from our 11 month old!  We just attended the candle light service where we took advantage of the decorations for our pictures this month. 

Lillian has five teeth, is super tall and has huge feet. Her curls are starting to make their second ringlet and are long enough to hold a hair bow!  She is cruising everywhere but still not interested in walking alone just yet. She is super affectionate and gives unsolicited hugs and kisses. She's starting to eat table food and hasn't found much she doesn't like. Her favorite book right now is Duck and Goose It's Time for Christmas  and she often " reads" to herself.