Infancy and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day

She is the woman sitting next to you in the church pew, standing behind you in the checkout line at Target.  She is your mother, sister and cousin.  She shares and grieves openly with family and friends and sometimes she keeps it so close she is the only one who will ever know.

While I cannot speak to Infancy Loss from a personal stance I can to Pregnancy Loss.  Most see Lillian as our first child; if you have followed our story or know us personally you know she has a sibling.  This year I have mixed emotions as I reflect on our loss.  October 26, 2012, would have been my due date and I should be planning a two year old's birthday party right now, but instead I am holding my 8 month old while she sleeps in my arms.  What a bittersweet sentence to write.  If it were not for the pain and loss of our first baby, we would not have experienced the joy of Lillian's adoption.  I can honestly say we would not have put an adoption profile at Heartbeat if my first baby had been born and even if we had, Lillian's birth parents specifically chose us because of our infertility and empty home longing for a baby.  I don't know why things had to happen the way they did and I would not want to live them out again, but I am grateful for a loving God who has been there for us through it all.  

So today on Infancy and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day I urge you to remember those who have experienced the pain of losing a child.  If this is you dear sister grieve, grieve your heart out because your baby was real and loved and to not grieve would be to deny that babies existence.  I have counted it a privilege to be able to come alongside my fellow sisters to help bear the burden of their loss having experienced it first hand myself.  God has allowed there to be joy in my sorrow and healing in the ability to empathize, encourage and pray for friends and friends of friends by name and unspoken request these past two and a half years.  Each and every baby is worthy of love and remembrance no matter how short their life.  If ever I can pray for, encourage, meet with or help you or someone you know experiencing this great loss please I would count it a joy to be able to do so.

I leave you with something I have been learning these past five years through our infertility journey: as you celebrate your happiness  remember there are always those silently suffering.  This does not mean you cannot be happy; but rather, if you can try and remember them with sensitivity in your celebration, you may just never know how much comfort and healing you can bring!