Thankful

For the first time in four Thanksgivings I have not felt left out in the room full of my siblings with their families and abundance of children.  This year at the center of it all there is Lillian, grandchild number seven for the Pruitt clan; the child I never thought would be. How grateful I am God chose to say yes this year when I truly believed this would not be the year. 

We (Mom, Rebecca, Emily and I) started the day with the Castle Hills Turkey Trot. I cannot tell you how proud I am of my mom for walking her first 5k and finishing in under 45 minutes.  This time six months ago she would not have even been able to walk that far let along at that speed. She placed fifth in her age group and pushed Rebecca, who is recovering from pneumonia from several weeks, to lace up those shoes again.  

I,with the help of Emily encouraging me along, was able to run my fastest 5K to date. I finished in 3rd for my age group with an 8:18 average pace. I am fairly certain an 8:36 had been my fastest race pace (I'll have to check to confirm that;) but I know it's never been faster than 8:34. 

We took Pruitt family pictures this afternoon before lunch and then had an amazing feast. All in all it's been a great day. 

BUT as great of a day that it was I am saddened and heavy hearted as I know MANY have not had such an amazing day. I've been thinking of my many friends longing to grow their families and having yet to be able to do so, and those who are celebrating their first Thanksgiving without loves ones like Lizzie's family as well as those like my dear brother in law who have lost a family memeber just this week. The holidays are great and remind us of what we have to be thankful for but they also remind us of what we have lost or have not. 

For myself, even in my darkest places and days with my infertility, the one thing that remained and still remains true is Christ.  It is on His solid rock I must stand because truly all other ground is sinking sand.  And so today I am most importantly grateful for a savior who forgives because man I mess up so bad and so often. Just earlier this week I let my sarcastic tongue cause pain to someone so sweet.  Not my intention but my result in trying to get a quick laugh. I know better than that. My God deserves better than that and I just blew it.  My prayer is that God will continue to mold me and use me and my messed up self and that this Thanksgiving whether it be your best to date, worst to date or somewhere in between,  you feel and KNOW Christ's redeeming love. He wants to celebrate the joys with you but he also wants to mourn your sorrows. From experience I know He will hold you my dear friend and never let you go if only you choose to let Him!