I heard something very disturbing on the radio this week. They were discussing tax credits, specifically the charitable gift tax credit. There was a poll taken in which 40% of people who give at least $20 a year to churches, charities, and ministries said they would stop doing so if the charitable giving tax credit was taken away. This disturbed me on two levels. One, what would happen to all the good these groups do if 40% of their donors stopped giving, but most importantly it raises the question of why do people give.
As a Christian I give my tithe because God commands it. It's the first check I write before any other when we get a paycheck. I actually have it on auto pay at my bank. I was taught tithing is what God asks for from a young age. I remember HAVING to give that $0.10 tithe for my dollar allowance as a small child. After I accepted Christ and continued to grow in my relationship that HAVING became WANTING. I don't give it because I get a tax write off. I give it because I'm called. Don't get me wrong, there are moments that I think to myself, "man I really could have used that money for...." But at the end of the day the money for .... is there if it's something that I really need when I do give. And often times even when it's not something I really need it is there. It just all seems to work out. God takes care of it.
Then there are offerings, everything above and beyond the tithe. The truth is I don't do this enough, but I try. I try to recognize specific opportunities and give when I feel the spirit telling me to. We sponsor a child in Tanzania. I give to local organizations. I give to national organizations. I try and help out specific people as I can and as opportunity presents itself. I volunteer my time. I do it because I feel led, not because there is a tax benefit.
I encourage you to ask yourself why you give.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
The Things I Remember Most
I vividly remember the day I found out I was pregnant. Unlike every other month for the previous two years, I didn't wake up early in the morning to do a pregnancy test the "day" I thought I could possibly find out I was pregnant. While we had done IUI's two days in a row that month, for some reason I just didn't and it was almost an after thought that day. I came home from school around ten and bought a test on the way home. I didn't even tell Stephen I was going to take it. I did the pee on a stick ritual and rather than walking away to wait, I watched as the urine was absorbed back into the stick and the pink test line began to appear. I can so vividly remember that second line just seconds afterward begin to show. For the previous 27 months I had taken at least two tests per month if not more and I cannot tell you how many times I had looked at that line and tried to will the second one to appear.Having never had a positive pregnancy test I had no clue how quickly it would appear. I would often look at it so hard and think, "is that another line trying to show through?!" I had imagined what I might feel like if it did appear and now I know. When it appears, it appears and in that one moment there is joy and relief, at least in my circumstances. All the trips to Shreveport and the exhaustion of the last two years was over. I remember that moment well.
I remember walking into the pharmacy in the middle of the day and asking Stephen if he could come out front to talk. I slipped the stick out of my pocket and began to cry. They were happy tears as well as tears of relief.
That afternoon I went walking with my neighbor Andrea. We had been trying to get together since I had moved in this was the first time we were able to make it happen. We caught up on life and I told her about our fertility issues. What I wanted to say was, "I just literally just found out the last treatment worked!" What I said was "I'm going to Shreveport this afternoon to have some more labs done."
I remember the appointment where it was confirmed the pregnancy was not ectopic. I had told the nurses I didn't feel like I could be excited until I knew it wasn't ectopic. And I was right. The unhindered excitement and relief happened at that appointment.
The most exciting day of all was that appointment with Stephen when we heard the heartbeat. I was excited when we were on our way, but I didn't know how it would make me feel. As Dr. Vandermolen turned the volume up we heard that bum bum, bum bum, bum bum of the beat loud and clear. I didn't realize how loud it would be. It was in that moment that I truly felt connected to the life that was growing in me. I was in love with my baby. I wasn't scared anymore. We had arrived, we had beaten the odds.
How naive of me.
I remember laying on the table asking Dr. Vineyard if I had mentioned at the last appointment that Stephen was now working at M & S and we had just moved back to town. He began the ultrasound as we were conversing. The conversation came to a halt, not abruptly but recognizably. I knew. He didn't even have to say. The first thing out of my mouth was, "At least we were pregnant. We've never been able to say that before, so this is still a good thing." I guess that was my coping mechanism for the moment as I laid there, by myself, without Stephen, realizing my worst fear about the pregnancy had come true. I called Stephen and he came to the office immediately. We cried together and made the decision to do a D&C the next morning.
These are just a few of the collection of memories I have. It was a short ten weeks and yet it was a long ten weeks. I'd give anything to have those ten weeks back, to have a life growing in me again, awful morning sickness and all.
I remember walking into the pharmacy in the middle of the day and asking Stephen if he could come out front to talk. I slipped the stick out of my pocket and began to cry. They were happy tears as well as tears of relief.
That afternoon I went walking with my neighbor Andrea. We had been trying to get together since I had moved in this was the first time we were able to make it happen. We caught up on life and I told her about our fertility issues. What I wanted to say was, "I just literally just found out the last treatment worked!" What I said was "I'm going to Shreveport this afternoon to have some more labs done."
I remember the appointment where it was confirmed the pregnancy was not ectopic. I had told the nurses I didn't feel like I could be excited until I knew it wasn't ectopic. And I was right. The unhindered excitement and relief happened at that appointment.
The most exciting day of all was that appointment with Stephen when we heard the heartbeat. I was excited when we were on our way, but I didn't know how it would make me feel. As Dr. Vandermolen turned the volume up we heard that bum bum, bum bum, bum bum of the beat loud and clear. I didn't realize how loud it would be. It was in that moment that I truly felt connected to the life that was growing in me. I was in love with my baby. I wasn't scared anymore. We had arrived, we had beaten the odds.
How naive of me.
I remember laying on the table asking Dr. Vineyard if I had mentioned at the last appointment that Stephen was now working at M & S and we had just moved back to town. He began the ultrasound as we were conversing. The conversation came to a halt, not abruptly but recognizably. I knew. He didn't even have to say. The first thing out of my mouth was, "At least we were pregnant. We've never been able to say that before, so this is still a good thing." I guess that was my coping mechanism for the moment as I laid there, by myself, without Stephen, realizing my worst fear about the pregnancy had come true. I called Stephen and he came to the office immediately. We cried together and made the decision to do a D&C the next morning.
These are just a few of the collection of memories I have. It was a short ten weeks and yet it was a long ten weeks. I'd give anything to have those ten weeks back, to have a life growing in me again, awful morning sickness and all.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Black Tie Bingo
Stephen and I didn't win anything, but that's okay. I'm secretly planning to have enough vacation money saved up for next year so we can bid on a getaway. Don't tell Stephen that's where all his deer lease money is going ;) It's always fun to get dressed up and I have to say my man sure does clean up nice!
This Would Have Been Our Last Weekend
This morning as I got out of bed to get dressed so I could go meet a friend for brunch, it occurred to me this would have been our last weekend as a family of two. Now I realize there is no way to really know because I could have had the baby early, but in all reality it probably would have been. I wonder what we would have done to celebrate our last few days of "freedom." It was just a thought. I have a feeling this week is going to be filled with those types of thoughts. I'm truly ready for the day to just come and go. So that it can be completely finished, done and over with, so the counting can stop and the comparison to every pregnant girl I see can stop.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Fall!!!!!
And now in direct contrast to my last post, but all paid for with cash, my house in now ready for fall! Yesterday I went from being a person with absolutely no fall decorations, to a person who's mantle looks like fall threw up on it:) I go crazy at Christmas, but I'm pretty much Christmas decorated out. There's no more room (or so I think, but who knows because I've never decorated THIS house ;)) So I asked Stephen if I could take some of my paycheck and get some fall decorations. When he said yes I don't think he actually knew what he was saying! There's still so much more I'd like to do, but that will have to wait till next year. So in the mean time I will be enjoying what I got this year until November 23 rolls around and the real decorating begins!
Dave Ramsey, It's a Love Hate Relationship!
So Dave and I haven't always been friends over these past three years since he came into my life. You see I have a spending problem and I LOVE clothes. When Stephen and I first got married I pretty much bought a new outfit every week. This was fine and dandy, but the problem was that we had a ton of credit card debt. When you are in pharmacy school and your financial aid doesn't come through, a semester of living on credit adds up quickly. So we started in a huge hole and weren't really making an effort to fill it up.
Then enters Dave. What a great idea, get out of debt and quickly. While we do not follow his plan to a T we are trying. Our debt snow ball is HUGE: credit cards, cars, the house, and financial aid. Note I list financial aid last; our payments are more than our mortgage :( With this in mind I cannot explain to you how overwhelming the idea of the snowball has been and how it feels like we are doing absolutely nothing! Then add to all that the air conditioner. About six months into our journey it broke, and when I say it broke I mean the outside unit and the attic unit all had to be replaced to the tune of $10,000. Well when you're in the midst of trying to get out of hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt which seems impossible to begin with, and then you add another ten at the snap of a finger, you just feel like crying and giving up! So for the first year of my teaching career, every single pay check for the first six months minus our tithe, went to pay for that stupid air conditioner. I realize this is what would be called a first world problem and I am absolutely grateful to live in a country where air conditioners are considered an absolute necessity, but when you realize everything awful that's happening during your first year of teaching is all so you can have an airconditioner, it's frustrating to say the least. So once we had the ac paid for, then we went back to the snow ball. It's overwhelming and at times you truly can't see the trees from the forest. Is anything even happening?
Well yesterday those trees separated from the forest. I am so glad to officially say that we are not only credit card debt free, but also one car note down with the second soon to follow in the next couple of months! Now that we've gotten the small, but big things out of the way, we can start paying HUGE chunks on the the other car and then the house and financial aid.
Like I said, we don't follow him exactly, but what we are doing what seems to finally be working. (Really it was working all along, we just couldn't see it.) I feel like we make way better financial decisions, with room for slip ups every now and then, and God is blessing us.
One of the decisions I'm most proud of was the route we took when purchasing our new house in Nac. Rather than building that dream home we would live in for the rest of our lives, we decided to go practical. We upgraded in size, large enough to have plenty of space for the size family we want (I would like to side note that while we had a "number" of kids we wanted, at this point we will be grateful for just one.) but not new and in a price range that we could have it paid off in fifteen years. The coolest thing is that after all the paper work was said and done and we knew exactly what our mortgage was going to be, we decided to pay an extra $500.00 a month which is going to translate to having it paid off in 8-10 years! And we LOVE the house and the only "work" we are doing to it is on the outside with the yard. We were also able to furnish the new house and new rooms with all used furniture. It really is amazing all the deals we found at the time of the move. It was almost like we were being blessed for being frugal. I got exactly what I wanted and at way discounted prices!
So we are trying. We aren't perfect Dave Ramsey students and we still have WAY too much fun sometimes with our spending (but all with cash!) but we are doing it and the snow ball just increased its speed from 5mph to about 70mph!
Then enters Dave. What a great idea, get out of debt and quickly. While we do not follow his plan to a T we are trying. Our debt snow ball is HUGE: credit cards, cars, the house, and financial aid. Note I list financial aid last; our payments are more than our mortgage :( With this in mind I cannot explain to you how overwhelming the idea of the snowball has been and how it feels like we are doing absolutely nothing! Then add to all that the air conditioner. About six months into our journey it broke, and when I say it broke I mean the outside unit and the attic unit all had to be replaced to the tune of $10,000. Well when you're in the midst of trying to get out of hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt which seems impossible to begin with, and then you add another ten at the snap of a finger, you just feel like crying and giving up! So for the first year of my teaching career, every single pay check for the first six months minus our tithe, went to pay for that stupid air conditioner. I realize this is what would be called a first world problem and I am absolutely grateful to live in a country where air conditioners are considered an absolute necessity, but when you realize everything awful that's happening during your first year of teaching is all so you can have an airconditioner, it's frustrating to say the least. So once we had the ac paid for, then we went back to the snow ball. It's overwhelming and at times you truly can't see the trees from the forest. Is anything even happening?
Well yesterday those trees separated from the forest. I am so glad to officially say that we are not only credit card debt free, but also one car note down with the second soon to follow in the next couple of months! Now that we've gotten the small, but big things out of the way, we can start paying HUGE chunks on the the other car and then the house and financial aid.
Like I said, we don't follow him exactly, but what we are doing what seems to finally be working. (Really it was working all along, we just couldn't see it.) I feel like we make way better financial decisions, with room for slip ups every now and then, and God is blessing us.
One of the decisions I'm most proud of was the route we took when purchasing our new house in Nac. Rather than building that dream home we would live in for the rest of our lives, we decided to go practical. We upgraded in size, large enough to have plenty of space for the size family we want (I would like to side note that while we had a "number" of kids we wanted, at this point we will be grateful for just one.) but not new and in a price range that we could have it paid off in fifteen years. The coolest thing is that after all the paper work was said and done and we knew exactly what our mortgage was going to be, we decided to pay an extra $500.00 a month which is going to translate to having it paid off in 8-10 years! And we LOVE the house and the only "work" we are doing to it is on the outside with the yard. We were also able to furnish the new house and new rooms with all used furniture. It really is amazing all the deals we found at the time of the move. It was almost like we were being blessed for being frugal. I got exactly what I wanted and at way discounted prices!
So we are trying. We aren't perfect Dave Ramsey students and we still have WAY too much fun sometimes with our spending (but all with cash!) but we are doing it and the snow ball just increased its speed from 5mph to about 70mph!
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