Warning...Greif Cycle Alert!

It's been a month since my D&C.  I thought I had been doing really well moving through the grief cycle and had actually skipped the anger and moved to acceptance, that is until the pregnant lady got out of her car in front of Kennedy's Saturday afternoon.  There I sat with Lerin and Catherine working the sidewalk sale minding my own business when all of a sudden anger reared it's ugly head at the sight of this woman.  Everything inside of me looked at her with disgust.  Who did she think she was with her cute pregnant belly to be walking down the street and stop at our store.  Wow, those were not the thoughts and feelings I had expected to have that day.  I thought I had moved pasted those feelings months ago. 

About a year ago I would have expected those emotions because that's pretty much how I felt about all pregnant women at the time, but this time I was not ready for it.  I have not felt that way in months and had come to a place were I was truly joyous for the people I knew and saw that were expecting. 

So I ask you to please pray for me.  I don't want to be angry and I worked really hard to get past the months of anger I had stored up over the first year and a half of our struggle.  It's not anything personal towards those who are expecting and it's not them I am angry at, it's the circumstances and quite honestly at the end of the day it's God.  I know God's a big boy and he can handle my anger and for that I am grateful, but I don't want to be angry. Like I wrote in my last post, I am trying to not just obey, but believe in God's promises and he promises to work all things for my good, which means all this will be used for my good.  Pray that I can move that heart knowledge to my head!

So, this is a public service announcement....All women with cute pregnant bellies, keep a safe distance of 100 yards from the crazy fertility challenged women!