Laughing when God Speaks

Ok so sometimes you just have to laugh when God speaks to you so clearly, laugh because it is so obvious and laugh at your little faith.

Stephen and I have this devotional routine where he reads the scripture and I read the devotional. Usually there is something one of us has never thought about or even a disagreement with the devotional writers ideas that we talk about. Well Monday and Tuesday nights were a little different. Both nights right before our devotional I read my blog post I had just posted to Stephen. Monday's two posts were about about the anger portion of the grief cycle and how I was hit by it this past Saturday unexpectedly and the second was about  believing God's promises when the unexpected happens.  Minutes after posting we started our devotion and I kid you not directly from my devotional that night I read,

"Do your thoughts dwell heavily today on your present circumstances? Do you feel weighed down by discouragement, weariness, and even impatience in your present situation? Fix your eyes firmly on our beloved Savior and eternal future and you will find the weight of your present circumstances will fade as they did for Jacob."

Stephen asked if I needed to go update my blog after the two posts I'd just written and laughingly said, "I think someone's trying to tell you something."

Then Tuesday night I posted about the call we received from the fertility clinic telling us we will have to wait six months after my Beta's reach zero to be able to begin trying again.  I have this issue with worst case scenario planning and doing the math and realizing how LONG it will be before I can hypothetically have a baby in my arms.  Well what do you know that nights devotional was entitled Come and See and the first lines of the devotion said,

"SOMETIMES FAITH HAS TO WAIT. Your heart's greatest desire is to be a mother.  Every month you wait.  The rhythm is torturous and always soul sinking....Israel had been waiting for a very long time.  The prophets had said the Lord's anointed was coming.  No one had ever waited like they had waited....After a long period of waiting, we are all cautious when our heart's desire finally arrives.  When you receive the good news, you  wonder, Can it really be?"

The scripture for this devotional was John 1:43-51.  It is where Philip declares to Nathanael they had found Jesus.  Nathanael asks could it really be and he is told to come and see.  While the devotional passage focused on the Messiah I just had to laugh when I read those opening lines.  Sometime faith has to wait...I mean I had just written two days earlier that the story of Abraham and Issac had taught me that, "I must believe [God's] promises because he's God and he doesn't lie."  That there is more to it than just obeying and believe is the same thing as having faith. 

After reading the devotional again I began to laugh out loud literally as Stephen again says, "I think someone's trying to tell you something."

So how cool is it that Sunday night I read and learn about Abraham and Issac and God reveals something new to me about the difference between obeying God and believing God, then Monday night after reflecting on my feelings of grief and despair, God speaks to me through that nights devotional and reminds me to fix my sights on the Savior and our eternal future and the weight of my present circumstances will fade away, and then finally Tuesday night after posting about the "bad news" from the fertility clinic He hits me with the sometimes faith has to wait comment and helps me to see the full circle connection to faith and believing His promises.

So while I have to laugh about my little faith and the irony of the devotionals which really isn't irony at all, I am hearing Him loud and somewhat clear.

Here's hoping tonight's devotional lets me off the hook a little and speaks to Stephen more so than to me;)